Random thoughts, stories, reflections, and ideas as they occur to me. - - - - - - - - - - - - *PLEASE NOTE* I respectfully request that use of my original writing, except for the purpose of reblogging on tumblr.com (with attribution), be subject to my express permission in writing. I am more than willing to distribute my work, but because I have taken the time and effort to produce it, I would like to be recognized for it. Thank you! Creative Commons License
This work by William Swain is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.

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I have never more than now wished to simply become lost in the world. I want to wander, to fade into the darkness with soft-scuffling footsteps and shallow breaths. I want time to be irrelevant for just an hour, or two, or three; I want contradictions to lead me away when all I should do is remain under loose sheets. I want to reclaim the feeling of rose stem pinpricks in my chest when I put pen to paper. Bleeding has never been the hard part—allowing it to escape has always been the challenge. I often wish for a return to the past, if only because when the world was so complex I could greater feel the urgency of the challenge. Everything is too soft now, and yet pierces even more deeply than the sharpest pain from before. I can’t console myself with pity nor find comfort in despair; shoulders once leaned on feel foreign and occupied. 

So maybe I do need to be lost for a time. Maybe I need to feel a chilly ache in my bones to be reminded of all that pain had driven me towards before, all that sadness had strengthened me for. 

It’s just a pair of shoes and a jacket away. 

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